In Which Kazuya Becomes a Man
by ProfessorHojotheGEN-I-US
Summary: Kazuya x Jun. Oh, Kazuya. Had he only listened to what his father had to say back then. Maybe then he wouldn't be in this awkward situation.


A/N: Because Freud and psychoanalysis makes me happy. A story of how Kazuya learns what a woman is. Inspired by my Visual Theory and Criticism class and my dear sister.

Disclaimer: Tekken and all its characters belong to Namco

Rating: M

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In Which Kazuya Becomes a Man

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What was all this then?

Now, Kazuya wasn't one to admit defeat or that he was weak. But that would be a rather hard thing for him to do considering who he was. He'd beat up someone without a second thought. If they pissed him off, they could expect a solid blow to the face. If someone looked at him wrong, he wasn't below kicking out their shins and stomping on their body as it lay motionless on the ground, screams flooding in his ears.

Weakness was not something Kazuya Mishima possessed.

And nor was he, by any means, dumb. Incredible tactician, business man smarts, it was hard to find an area in which Kazuya had no experience. He was almost the perfect man, according to Mr. Mishima himself.

But there was one area, he was learning slowly, that he had no experience in. And that was women. Not that he didn't know what one was. They were weaker creatures, softer, curvier. Usually with worse temperaments than men. But on this night … this fateful night … he was learning that there were more differences between them than he had originally thought.

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Kazuya sat, astounded, at what was before him. Jun Kazama was currently lying on a bed in the hotel room he had rented, completely naked and waiting for him. This wasn't what shocked Kazuya though, oh no. He was never surprised when he got invitations to join woman in their bedroom. Not that he had ever taken any of them up on their offer of sexual relations, but who could resist _this_ level of badassery?

No, it wasn't the knowledge that he was about to have sex with an absolutely gorgeous woman who was insanely obsessed with him that was causing him to look on in awe, it was the whole … anatomy of Jun that was the reason for his hesitation.

He was aware that woman had larger chests than men. Obviously, they all had them. Kazuya remembered one time how Heihachi had told him that woman have breasts so that they could support babies when they gave birth to them. Kazuya didn't ask any more questions about this, as he was young and didn't much care about the answer.

But there was something his father hadn't told him about that he really wished he would've.

"Jun," Kazuya spoke, trying his best to keep his voice calm, "You, uh … you look nice."

It was the best thing Kazuya could say at the time. Even though he desperately wanted to address the issue in front of him. He cursed his father colorfully in his mind for not better preparing him for this situation. But that would get him no where right now. And running out of the room seemed like a bad idea as well.

So, clearing his throat, determined to get to the bottom of this, Kazuya pointed a mighty finger to the area of Jun Kazama's lower area and demanded, "Where is your manhood, Jun?"

This caused the petite Japanese woman to start laughing, clutching the bedspread for support. "What are you talking about, Kazuya?"

"Your manhood," Kazuya repeated, his voice losing it's determination and his finger wilting, "It's gone."

"It was never there to begin with, silly," Jun spoke again, looking at Kazuya with an almost concerned look on her face, "Didn't you know that?"

"What? Know that you had a physical ailment? Of course not."

Jun's arms immediately folded over her chest, giving Kazuya a sour look, "Physical ailment? What's wrong with you?"

Taken aback by Jun's question, Kazuya glared at her, staring directly into her eyes. He wasn't sure how what he said made her so angry, but he wasn't happy about this situation either. Snorting a little, Kazuya answered, "There's nothing wrong with me at all. I'm the normal one here."

"We're both normal, Kazuya. Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

"Well, I, uh …"

Jun had brought up the question Kazuya had been perfectly content to let die. No, he'd never seen a naked woman before. Well, he'd seen them without tops on and such, but that was nothing special. And even when he was younger and went shopping for clothes with his father, he'd see lingerie and other woman apparel, wondering how in the world they got their "junk" in those types of things. Of course, he was not about to ask his idiotic father who would end up with slapping him or laughing at him.

But he couldn't let Jun know that he didn't know whatever he was supposed to be knowing. Though, he supposed that it was getting harder and harder to hide the fact that he had absolutely no idea what was going on since he hadn't answered Jun's question and it was five minutes later.

"O-of course I have, woman!" Kazuya screamed, backing up to the wall in anger, as he watched Jun get off the bed and walk towards him.

"Have you really, Kazuya?" Her tone was that of mocking, and Kazuya wasn't enjoying it very much. And as he hit the wall, the coldness seeping into his back, he watched in fear as Jun approached ever closer, finally pushing herself against him on the wall.

Kazuya swallowed hard, glad that it was dark enough in the room where Jun wouldn't be able to see his rapidly spreading blush. And he wanted to push her away, to be able to breathe again, but then he realized something … naked women seem to disarm his rage. That, or he was way too embarrassed to actually do anything besides stand there in fear.

"Now then," Jun began, her voice happy once again, "I've got you in the perfect place to just be quiet and listen. Did you know your mother, Kazuya?"

Kazuya's mind was going fuzzy from the contact he was getting from Jun, but the question immediately brought him back to his senses and caused him to look at the woman, answering quietly, "My mother died giving birth to me …"

A sad "Ohh" from Jun alerted him to realize that, maybe, she shouldn't have asked that question. But the woman was persistent, and she pressed on: "So you never got to know your mother then. Did your father ever remarry? Were there any female role models in your home?"

Grunting loudly, Kazuya sighed, "Jun, what does this have to do with anything? No, my father never remarried, and no, I never had a female figure in my house. Unless you count Lee, that is." Kazuya finished this statement with a chuckle, almost wishing Lee could've been there to hear it. But then he looked at Jun, a serious look plastered on her face, and he immediately shut up.

"Well, no wonder you think I look weird!" Jun cheered, a smile on her face as she grabbed Kazuya's hand and led him back to the bed, "You've never been with a woman before!"

"Hey now," Kazuya butt in, not wanting to feel inadequate, "I've been with plenty of woman! I've been with so many women, I … I not going to begin to even try and tell you!"

Jun just laughed at this, growing to like this shy side of Kazuya. But she chose to ignore Kazuya's outburst, and continue on with her revelation: "And because you've never had a woman around, you don't know what they look like! That's why you didn't know that women don't have penis's. Thus, you never went through the "castration anxiety" stage, and that's why you're as blissfully unaware of it as you are now!"

Kazuya just continued to sputter as Jun guided him more fully onto the bed over her body, staring at her in a complex manner. She couldn't be right. There was just no way. All this new information was ramming into Kazuya'a mind so hard, he physically felt like he had been hit by a truck.

"So … you mean … women don't have a penis? Any of them?"

"Well, some transvestites do, but I guess you can't really consider those "woman" in the sense that they're only woman."

"Transvestites?"

"People who have male and female parts? God, Kazuya, you need to get out there and not be so sheltered."

"Oh! … Like Lee!"

"Would you leave him alone already?" Jun sighed, wanting to end the conversation and give herself to Kazuya, who, with that confused face, looked absolutely adorable in her eyes. "And come here."

She placed her arms around his back, pulling Kazuya towards her. Kissing him deeply, she pulled back just enough to whisper, "Besides, if you like having sex with other males, with their "goods," then you'd be gay."

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Lee was sitting in another room of the hotel, preparing a bath. He had used the pink bubble bath mix that had been provided to him, and lit candles around the edge for a peaceful atmosphere. He took out the wine and poured himself a glass as he slipped into the warm water, letting it over take him. Making sure not to get any on his face, lest he mess up his facial.

"GAY?!"

Kazuya's voice rang out so shrilly, that it easily penetrated the walls of the bathroom, causing Lee to shake his fist in contempt. "Ha ha! Very funny, Kazuya!" Nestling back into the water, Lee put on some headphones and switched to some Elton John. "Some people are just so rude."

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The End

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A/N: Just to clear this up, I have nothing against Elton John at all. I actually quite enjoy his music. And this story was awkward in all the right ways, yes? Anyway, thank you so very much for reading! As always, reviews are very appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed it.


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